The columnist finalists: a middle-aged depressive woman ranting on about her comfort food chocolate burying the hate of working for a younger woman; a woman who is a dog medium i.e. can communicate with dogs; an Irish-American New Yorker transplant who used his 500 words as a campaign speech rather than WRITING; and three forgetable other candidates, one of which also used her 500 words as stump speech…harmless people, well meaning though they be…all dead. Conservative, boring, sleepy Wisteria Lane, USA. Fine. Whatever.
I may reveal here my brilliant submission but I think already have wasted too much time on what clearly is no country for young men.
Off to get my Sominex™ & Metamucil. F*ckers.
This blog was originally commissioned as an on going companion to the diaries of my loser life for all us loser sports fans waiting for our sports heroes to lead us out of exile into Paradise – championships, rings, glory. None of it real for us in terms of accomplishments, struggles and victory – certainly not the women – not unless we dig down deep and use our sports entertainment as Inspiration to reach for something higher…than another shot of Jack, flip of the remote and a bong hit.
Today, The Bloozah has an opportunity to right this ship by writing a column for a community paper. The column will be awarded via (gulp!!) COMPETITION. 500 words. “Are you clever? The life of the party?? Do others come to you for advice? Are your anecdotes the stuff that people hang on for every word?”
Ummm. (No)³ x 2.
So, do I write 500 words that conform to this rather sleepy, slow and throwback town? Do I go (gasp) *radical??* *liberal??* Take away the PC filter/editor??
What to dooooo!! What would you do?